Struggling with prayer

I have been having a hard time with "prayer".

Very distracted and not connecting...simply just not praying.  I wake up at 4:30 this morning feeling that God was telling me to get up and pray.

Of course...in usual fashion I thought "I'll check my email first".  In my inbox is a YouTube video subscription update.  I notice a John Piper video on prayer of all things:

The Devil Defeats Most Praying Before it Happens

John Piper - How to regain confidence in Prayer

It is time for me to pray...right here, right now.  Pray for me and my simple dedication to talking to our God in Heaven.  Thanks.

The Zeitgeist Challenge Part 1

The Zeitgeist "Challenge" Part 1

What's this about?

I am interacting with some people on-line (a Mountain Biking forum on the MTBR.com website).  I was given an honest "challenge" of sorts...

"I see that you are definitely one of the faithful but please just watch Part 1 (The Zeitgeist Movie) and please let me know if you can disprove anything they are saying. There might be some discrepancies but I just don't like to see people eating up everything their "religion" tells them"

Part 1 of the Zeitgeist Movie is two hours long, so this may take a while...I don't know how many "parts" of my article there may be by the end, but I've only viewed through the 15 minute intro and decided to break this into digestible "chunks".  Thank you for the "challenge"...for making my brain work!

Intro - The Zeitgeist Movie/Movement

The Zeitgeist Movie

Zeitgeist Movie Transcript

Part of the "Statement" from the Zeitgeist Website:

"'Zeitgeist, The Movie' and 'Zeitgeist: Addendum' were created as Not-for-Profit expressions to communicate what the author felt were highly important social understandings which most humans are generally not aware of. The first film focuses on suppressed historical & modern information about currently dominant social institutions, while also exploring what could be in store for humanity if the power structures at large continue their patterns of self-interest, corruption, and consolidation."  

It certainly sounds like an honest and noble cause motivated by a desire to reveal truth.  I like it.  Isn't that why I speak to people about what I believe the "truth" is?

I move on over to The Zeitgeist Movement link...to a stand alone website "The Zeitgeist Movement" where I find a lengthy statement about the Goal of the Zeitgeist movement.

"We intend to restore the fundamental necessities and environmental awareness of the species through the avocation of the most current understandings of who and what we truly are, coupled with how science, nature and technology (rather than religion, politics and money) hold the keys to our personal growth, not only as individual human beings, but as a civilization, both structurally and spiritually. "

"...where negative social consequences, such as social stratification, war, biases, elitism and criminal activity will be constantly reduced and, idealistically, eventually become nonexistent within the spectrum of human behavior itself.

This possibility is, of course, very difficult for most humans to consider, for we have been conditioned by society to think that crime, corruption and dishonesty is "the way it is" and that there will always be people who want to abuse, hurt and take advantage of others. Religion is the largest promoter of this propaganda, for the "us and them" or "good and evil" mentality promotes this false assumption."

"In turn, once we realize that it is science, technology and hence human creativity which creates progress in our lives, we are then able to recognize what our true priorities are for social and personal growth and progress. These points denoted, we can then see that Religion, Politics and the Money/Competition based Labor system are outdated modes of social operation, which must now be addressed and outgrown. Our avocation is to achieve a social system which operates without money or politics, while allowing superstition to work itself out as education flourishes. It isn't the right of any person to tell another what to believe, for no human has a full understanding of anything."

Sidenote:  Within the "Goals" statement...I read "It isn't the right of any person to tell another what to believe, for no human has a full understanding of anything."  The statement seems self-disqualifying.  How can the Zeitgeist Movement claim "It isn't the right of any person to tell another what to believe, for no human has a full understanding of anything."...yet the rest of the Goal Statement states so clearly that the Zeitgeist Movement is the only way to cure all the ills of society?

What stands out to me?  OK...the Zeitgeist Movement proposes that "religion" is one of a few key factors that has contributed to many (if not all) ills of society.  Well...here's a cool thing, I agree with this on many levels.

The Zeitgeist Movie

So...the movie starts with a three minute philosophical/spiritual statement by Chögyam Trungpa, a "Buddhist meditation master, scholar, teacher, poet, artist, and a Trungpa tülku." (quoted from Wikipedia )

Here is a little background I dug up on Chögyam Trungpa:

"His controversial career is characterized by his style of "crazy wisdom" by his Western followers. Physically weakened by years of heavy alcohol use, he died in terminal stages of heart failure at the age of 48." (Wikipedia )

"Shortly after his move to Scotland, a variety of experiences, including a car accident that left him partially paralyzed on the left side of his body, led Trungpa to the decision to give up his monastic vows and work as a lay teacher. This decision was principally motivated by the intention to undercut the temptation of students becoming distracted by exotic cultures and dress, and by their preconceptions of how a guru should behave. He drank, smoked, slept with students, and often kept students waiting for hours before giving teachings. Much of his behavior has been asserted as deliberately provocative and sparked controversies that continue to this day" (Wikipedia )

"In general, I think that nearly all of what passes for “crazy wisdom” and is justified as “crazy wisdom” by both master and enraptured disciple is really cruelty and exploitation, not enlightened wisdom at all. In the name of “crazy wisdom” appalling crimes have been rationalized by master and disciple alike, and many lives have been partly or completely devastated. (Andrew Harvey)

"His wife Diana Mukpo summarizes: 'Although he (Chögyam Trungpa) had many of the classic health problems that develop from heavy drinking, it was in fact more likely the diabetes and high blood pressure that led to abnormal blood sugar levels and then the cardiac arrest'. One of his nursing attendants reports that in his last months, he suffered from incontinence, distended belly, discolored skin, hallucinations, varicose veins, gastritis, and esophageal varices -- classic symptoms of terminal alcoholism and cirrhosis -- and yet he was still drinking heavily." (Wikipedia )

Why would I point out some of these things about Chögyam Trungpa?  Two reasons.

First; one of the stated goals of the Zeitgeist Movement is to tear down "Religion" as one of the oppressive strata of humanity, yet it uses the statement of a Buddhist Monk (a religious man...right?) to open the movie.

Second; imagine if I created a movie to support what I believe.  Why my faith if accepted and followed by everyone on the planet would move to eventually eliminate "negative social consequences, such as social stratification, war, biases, elitism and criminal activity", yet I opened the movie with a statement by Tedd Haggard (a big money, meth smoking, gay prostitue using "Christian" preacher).  Wouldn't you balk from the get-go at the hypocrisy?

Here is the opening statement by Chögyam Trungpa:

"Spirituality is a particular term which actually means dealing with intuition. In the theistic tradition there is a notion of clinging into a word.  A certain act is regarded as displeasing to a divine principles. A certain act is regarded as pleasing for the divine … whatever.  In the tradition of non-theism, however, it is very direct — that the case history are not particularly important. What is actually important is here and now. Now is definitely now. We try to experience what is available there, on the spot. There is no point in thinking that a past did exist that we could have now. This is now. This very moment. Nothing mystical, just now, very simple, straight forward. And from that nowness, however, arises a sense of intelligence always that you are constantly interacting with reality one by one. Spot by spot. Constantly. We actually experience fantastic precision, always.  But we are threatened by the now so we jump to the past or the future. Paying attention to the materials that exist in our life — such rich life that we lead — all these choices takes place all the time, but none of them regarded as bad or good per say — everything we experience are unconditional experience. They don’t come along with a label saying ‘this is regarded as bad’, ‘this is good’. But we experience them but we don’t actually pay heed to them properly. We don’t actually regard that we are going somewhere. We regard that as a hassle. Waiting to be dead. That is a problem. That is not trusting the nowness properly that what is the actual experience now possesses a lot of powerful things. It is so powerful that we can’t face it. Therefore, we have to borrow from the past and invite the future all the time. Maybe that’s why we seek religion. Maybe that’s why we march in the street. Maybe that’s why we complain to society. Maybe that’s why we vote for the presidents. It is quite ironic. Very funny indeed."

Spirituality: "the quality or fact of being spiritual.  predominantly spiritual character as shown in thought, life, etc.; spiritual tendency or tone."
Intuition: "direct perception of truth, fact, etc., independent of any reasoning process; immediate apprehension. pure, untaught, noninferential knowledge."

Would you agree that it does not matter what I believe, it does not matter what Chögyam Trungpa believes...it does not really matter what anyone believes for that matter unless it is based on fact, not intuition.  We can't all be right can we?  The only thing that matters is the truth.  Say Chögyam and I stood atop a 2,000ft cliff and we both had to jump to jagged the rocks below - if Chögyam's intuition told him that he would float down and would land gently...and I said...the laws of physics tell me that we'll both be smashed to bits...what matters?  intuition or plain fact?

What would matter?  Truth would prevail - we'd both me stains on the rocks below. 

The faith I claim...is based on evidential truth.  So, I disagree at the outset that "Spirituality means dealing with intuition"...at least in my world view.  The framework of truth that I rely on is built upon historical, archaeological, prophetic, even eye witness accounts of fact (or at least that's what I believe thus far).

Let's continue the movie...and see if the claims in the movie can shred...or at least tear at the fabric of the truth I believe.

-- To be continued --

Dear Family and Friends,

As you know, I have been in the IT field for over 20 years, starting with the Air Force in 1986 and continuing with Protocol Marketing until August of this year. Way back in 1982 while in High School, the Commodore 64 computer got me started with computers/technology, and it has been a challenging and rewarding career since.

The last several years, however, God has been rewiring my heart. I used to have a driving passion to be working on any kind of IT project, solving any type of computer-related problem from a simple desktop computer that wouldn’t print; to a failed RAID element in a production SQL server; to complex projects like the physical relocation of an entire 300-seat call center and its data center with 50 servers, T1’s and all the re-engineering of the network infrastructure. Wow…that stuff used to really fire me up!

So what has changed?

In the fall of 2005, God started to place a burden on my heart for troubled teens and started to work me over with a conviction and a burden to share the Gospel. At first, I had no idea how this would pan out…how He would put things in place for me to go and do the things he was burdening my heart with. I began to lose interest in all the IT gadgetry and projects that had always fired me up. I began to pray and ask God where he wanted me to serve. "I don’t want anything but to glorify you…if it’s here in the IT world, show me – if not, then where do you want me?" I would often feel like a robot at work, merely going through the motions to get things done.

Starting in January of 2006, Dany and I took an eight week course on sharing the Gospel in a winsome, caring and compassionate way, modeled pretty much after the way Jesus shared. Then, in the spring of 2006, Dany was offered a position at Pikes Peak Academy (yes…another one of those Godincidences).

Pikes Peak Academy is a ministry for troubled high school students. It is, for the most part, the last chance any of these kids have to get a high school diploma before entering the world. The student body consists of kids that have been tossed between and out of public schools for any number of reasons, including drug and alcohol use, being social outcasts, fighting, truancy, etc. As we both soon became aware, Pikes Peak Academy is the polar opposite of any school we had ever heard of.

The school operates Monday through Friday from 8 to Noon, and each teacher has about 10 students at a time in his or her classroom. With four academic teachers, there are currently 45 students enrolled. In the afternoon, students are required to hold a job or complete volunteer work. Each student is also assigned a staff Advocate who meets with the student about once a week for counseling, encouragement and even admonishment. Most importantly, however, since Pikes Peak Academy is a private Christian ministry, we are able to share the glorious Gospel whenever a door opens in conversation with any of the kids.

The school principle, Mark, "drafted" me to help with advocating soon after Dany started. As my visits to PPA and away from my IT job had to be short, I often left the school emotionally torn. I didn’t have as much time as I wanted to spend with these kids that so desperately just wanted to be heard and loved on.

In November of 2007, a Pikes Peak Academy teacher gave his notice that he would not be returning after Christmas break. Mark asked me if I might be interested in the position. I paused…and, I’m ashamed to say now, asked what the salary was. It was "only" about 50% what I was making in the IT world…so I let the opportunity pass.

Along comes August 21st, 2008. I was laid off from Protocol Marketing. Remember that prayer from earlier? Surely this was answer to prayer that I should have heard earlier when Mark asked me about the teaching position. I wasn’t devastated from my layoff; I was elated! I was praising God. I went over to the school where Dany said "Hey…why are you here so early? Protocol let you go didn’t they?" We immediately prayed, we were oddly relieved and excited about what was to come next.

The first week I "unplugged" from the grid of life, communication, computers, Internet, radio…everything. I wanted to seek God in quiet solitude. That time "away" was…tough and beautiful (ask me sometime). After that first week, I polished up my resume and began to pound the ground for a new position…but with an utter sense of DREAD at trying to convince a prospective employer that I was the best candidate for a position when my heart was not even 1% into IT anymore.

At the same time, another teaching position in social studies at Pikes Peak Academy opened. Three weeks after being laid off, Mark again approached me about a position. My heart lit up like the Fourth of July. Even the prospect of a huge pay cut excited me. Had I ever really known what it was like to rely on God for provision other than my well-paying IT position?

So, why am I sharing this with you? I am sharing this because I know there are some of you who would be encouraged and blessed by giving to the ministry of Pikes Peak Academy. Like most ministries, PPA relies primarily on the donations of individuals and churches, those whom God moves to help support the mission.

The ministry has asked us to help in raising the financial support necessary to pay the salaries and health insurance for Dany and me. Would you please pray and consider if the Lord is leading you to become a supporter of our family’s new calling? Monthly or one-time gifts are okay. All gifts are tax deductible and should be made payable to Pikes Peak Academy. Please send your gifts to:

Pikes Peak Academy

Attn: Keith and Dany Donaldson

5590 N. Nevada Ave.

Colorado Springs, CO 80918

Please note if your contribution is a one time gift or will be a monthly contribution.

We covet your prayers. It is a comfort to know that you will be praying for the ministry as we take the skills the Lord has given us, and, with great joy, use them to help teens we dearly love and have the opportunity to boldly proclaim Christ’s gospel to.

In Christ’s Love,

Keith Donaldson, FORMER Manager of IT Support

NOW Social Studies Teacher, Pikes Peak Academy

Dany Donaldson, Math Teacher, Pikes Peak Academy

If you want to learn more about the ministry, go to our website at: http://www.PikesPeakAcademy.net.

Postmodern Quote

I am reading a book called "Why We're Not Emergent (By Two Guys Who Should Be)".

I just read a quote in the book that speaks volumes about Truth and the Postmodern culture.

Paraphrased "It's really cool to search for God (or Truth).  It's not very cool to find Him (the Truth)."

Why is this so?

Well...isn't it all about pride?  On both sides of that quote...isn't it about pride?

Isn't it just so cool, intelectual and open minded to be searching for Truth?  To dig into all the nooks and crannies of so many different, diverse and often opposing world views, religions - even atheism?  To talk with, to interact with so many different writings, speakers and other people about how these different views effect you, what they mean to you...how they have brought signifigance or meaning to different areas of your life?  How you choose to throw out the things that you don't like...and adhere to the things that appeal to you?

Isn't this pride?  Isn't this simply creating a graven image of what you WANT the Truth to be?

Now...what happens when someone finds the Truth (or doesn't the Truth really find you)?  Aren't there really only two choices that can be made?

Well...ok, so it is the irrefutable, proven, innerant Truth - but you'd rather have it your way, so you refuse to follow it, instead looking for more patterns in the world that appeal to you.  Pride.

Or...and this is the crux, the dilemma of the age.  You submit yourself to the Truth.  You decide that the Truth is and will be the ultimate authority in your life.  You allow the Truth to rule your life.  Submission and humility.

Why is it yet so hard to come under the authority of the Truth for Postmodern Culture?  Because we've been taught...that we are the center of the universe, that it is not OK to say "no" to our desires...we've built a unique and powerful altar to self-pride in each person.  Me, me, me screams the ego of the 21st century.

I still struggle with it...and I would like to think that I want to be fully submitted to the authority of the Truth.  Again...the beatitudes come to mind.  What a study those eight nuggets are, what remarkable contrast to all the world (and even much of Contemporary Church teaching) tells us we should be.

My heart aches to be blessed by being (Matthew 5:1-12)...

Poor in Spirit

Mournful

Meek

Hungering and Thirsting After Righteousness

Pure in Heart

A Peacemaker

Being Persecuted Because of Righteousness

Being Persecuted and Insulted and Having all kinds of Evil and false things said against me.

"Lord God...convict me, humble me...lead me to seek these things, to live by these beatitudes.  To constantly seek to know what they mean by your example, by example of the Disciples and the first generation church.  To continue to bring Your Truth to the world no matter the personal consequences, no matter the persecution - yet to bring it with great Love and utter compassion. - Amen"

Tozer Today - No Limit to What God Could Do

Revival: No Limit to What God Could Do

But when they did not find them, they dragged Jason and some brethren to the rulers of the city, crying out, "These who have turned the world upside down have come here too." --Acts 17:6

There is no limit to what God could do in our world if we would dare to surrender before Him with a commitment like this: 

"Oh God, I hereby give myself to You. I give my family. I give my business. I give all I possess. Take all of it, Lord-and take me! I give myself in such measure that if it is necessary that I lose everything for your sake, let me lose it. I will not ask what the price is. I will ask only that I may be all that I ought to be as a follower and disciple of Jesus Christ, my Lord. Amen."

If even 300 of God's people became that serious, our world would never hear the last of it! They would influence the news. Their message would go everywhere like birds on the wing. They would set off a great revival of New Testament faith and witness.

God wants to deliver us from the easygoing, smooth and silky, fat and comfortable Christianity so fashionable today. I hope we are willing to let the truth get hold of us, even at the cost of rejection or embarrassment.

The faith of the heavenly overcomers cost them everything and gained them everything. What of our faith? Jesus Is Victor!, 116-117.

"Oh God, I hereby give myself to You. I give my family. I give my business. I give all I possess. Take all of it, Lord-and take me! I give myself in such measure that if it is necessary that I lose everything for your sake, let me lose it. I will not ask what the price is. I will ask only that I may be all that I ought to be as a follower and disciple of Jesus Christ, my Lord. Amen."