Getting laid off

What exactly happened today in those few minutes as I found out I was being laid off?

I was called into the main conference room at work...where I find seated at the table, my good old friend/old boss/site VP (who hired me ten years ago), my current boss who I've also worked with for ten years and the HR director. I've been around long enough to know what's up. Business hasn't been that great...I've seen this happen to other folks time and again.

I sat down and heard my boss proceed to give the "Business has been tough, you know that, we've had to make some very, very hard decisions about positions to eliminate...and we've decided to eliminate yours."

It was surreal. If you know me...or if you've read much here, you know that my heart has not been in this IT thing for a while...2 or 3 years. I want to serve God...100%

I sat back and sighed...asked my old boss/VP if he had anything to add. Can't remember exactly what he said...but it was standard, business is tough, tough decisions stuff, we've really appreciated your work, etc.

So I told them..."Spiritually, God has really refocused my life, especially in the last few years. He's shown me that if it won't matter in 100 years...it doesn't matter. Sure a paycheck is nice...but God will provide. And I really have my life set towards eternal things now. The only thing that will really hurt me is if I don't hear from you two as friends in the future. This is transitional...this is only a job."

I thought my boss was going to pass out...she wears her heart on her sleeve and I know it was really tough as a friend to go through that. We all shook hands...I walked out with some paperwork and went to my car. The HR Director is going to meet me there Saturday morning so I can collect all my "junk" from the office.

I got to the car...realized there were a couple of things I would need this evening, so I went back to the front desk and asked them to call her back up front. The handed me the phone...she grabbed my stuff and brought it to me.

Again...I thought she was going to break down on the spot as she said "Keith...you were so much more gracious about what just happened than any of us deserve. I'm humbled." I gave her a hug and told her...don't sweat it.

She is Jewish. And interestingly enough...God provided a wild opportunity to share the Gospel with her in her office of all places a few weeks ago. I pray that a seed has been planted and watered by the grace only GOD provided me to extend them during that "lay off" talk.

As I was leaving the parking lot, there was another lady walking out. I stopped by to say goodbye to her. She says "hey...I can't talk right now, I just got laid off"

I said..."Me too."

She says "YOU!?"

"Yes...me."

She was just at the point of tears...I said "Hey...it's only a job. If it won't matter in 100 years...it really doesn't matter." She said "Yes...but I'm a single mom with two kids." I said "Hey...I've got four kids...and it will be OK." She shook her head "yes"...squeezed my arm and turned to walk to her car.

Interestingly...she's a Catholic...that I've also shared the Gospel with, and someone I'll be in touch with some more I'm sure.

I went to my wife's work. I told her what happened. So...she's on the same page. Basicly..."God...thank you, really...thank you...what's up next?" We went to an empty office and got on our knees thanking him...weeping through some prayers...asking for him to guide us.

Got home...eventually went to bed...

I was having a hard time sleeping...so I got up to journal this...and the Daily Tozer email was in my inbox. It usually doesn't come until the morning. So I read it.

And...wonder of wonders. Just another GodIncidence...well, you have to read it yourself:

The Longing After Eternity

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts.... --Ecclesiastes 3:11

We take it for granted and we are not surprised at all about the eternal nature of God but the greater wonder is that God has seen fit to put His own everlastingness within the hearts of men and women....

I believe that this is the truth about our troubles and our problems: We are disturbed because God has put everlastingness in our hearts. He has put a longing for immortality in our beings. He has put something within men and women that demands God and heaven--and yet we are too blind and sinful to find Him or even to look for Him!...

Men and women need to be told plainly, and again and again, why they are disturbed and why they are upset. They need to be told why they are lost and that if they will not repent they will certainly perish. Doctors and counselors will tell troubled men and women that their problems are psychological, but it is something deeper within the human being that troubles and upsets--it is the longing after eternity! Christ the Eternal Son, pp. 52-54

"Lord, we long for eternity, but there is so much commotion, activity, and noise in our world that that longing is too often drowned out. Help me to break through that madness with the message of Christ today. Amen."

That speaks so well on so many levels to all that happened today...and all that has lead up to it. My focus is on eternity...and on reaching the lost and giving them a fighting chance at eternity with God.

Taking the Red Pill

I've been on an interesting journey for the last three years.

I have a burden in my heart to break from my flesh...to give it all over and serve God 100%, to quit going 1/2 way (if I've even been going that far)...at least that's what I've been going through. Been praying...asking God where he wants me to serve him. Telling him I'm tired of working for a faceless juggernaut that only wants to make more money.

I've been at this job as a professional IT Geek for ten years with this company...I get called to the main conference room this afternoon...they laid me off.

Nice, cozy, comfy job and a nice fat paycheck to zero in 5 seconds flat.

The cool part is how God lead me to respond...I'll post more later on that.

I feel a sense of relief, almost like a black cloud has been blown away.

Is this where the mental ascent gives way to a genuine burden of the heart? I'm pretty sure that I really want to serve God 100%...to go "all the way"...to trust Him all the way.

So this new adventure begins.

Tozer 18 August - Make my heart beat like this...

A Bond of Compassion

Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy. He who continually goes forth weeping, bearing seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him. --Psalm 126:5-6

The testimony of the true follower of Christ might well be something like this: The world's pleasures and the world's treasures henceforth have no appeal for me. I reckon myself crucified to the world and the world crucified to me. But the multitudes that were so dear to Christ shall not be less dear to me. If I cannot prevent their moral suicide, I shall at least baptize them with my human tears. I want no blessing that I cannot share. I seek no spirituality that I must win at the cost of forgetting that men and women are lost and without hope. If in spite of all I can do they will sin against light and bring upon themselves the displeasure of a holy God, then I must not let them go their sad way unwept. I scorn a happiness that I must purchase with ignorance. I reject a heaven that I must enter by shutting my eyes to the sufferings of my fellow men. I choose a broken heart rather than any happiness that ignores the tragedy of human life and human death. Though I, through the grace of God in Christ, no longer lie under Adam's sin, I would still feel a bond of compassion for all of Adam's tragic race, and I am determined that I shall go down to the grave or up into God's heaven mourning for the lost and the perishing.

And thus and thus will I do as God enables me. Amen.

"Lord Jesus, give me that broken heart, give me that bond of compassion, as I interact with unsaved people in my ministry today. Amen."

CS Pride '08

We went to church Sunday morning, my wife didn't want to play hookie and she thought she might be able to talk another couple into going down to Acacia park with us. Acacia Park for what?

Pridefest '08.

My wife talked some good friends from our little church into coming with us. We arrived at about 2:00 and drove around to find a place to park, I noticed a "protester" on one corner holding up a sign and a cross. We prayed before we left the car - and asked God again to "bring the people to us, or bring us to the people He wants us to share the Gospel with..."

If you've read much here before...it's astounding how God answers that prayer every time I pray it.

We headed into the park and split up into pairs. Don was with me, Laura with Dany.

I made a beeline to the "protester". Opened up a little conversation with him. He was holding up a sign with his left hand that said "Forgive them Father for they know not what they do", and in his right hand he had a typical Catholic Crucifix with Jesus still on the cross. I asked him what he was representing and he said he was Catholic.

We talked for a bit, talked about where he'd go if he died right then and there, etc. I was surprised that he answered heaven at first...but then I asked him about purgatory, asking him about why he thought there was such a thing. He said the story of the rich man and Lazarus was proof to him...as the rich man "didn't seem like a man in Hell" so he must have been in purgatory. It was a pretty brief conversation, but I did leave him with a copy of "One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven".

Don and I continued to walk around the perimeter toward the fountain...where Don said "If I'm making you uncomfortable or you think it would be better to split up, I'll just sit here by the fountain." I said "Ok."

So Don sat down in the shade by the fountain and I continued walking.

I handed out some tracts. The Evangelism Team "Homosexuality" tract is great for events like this because the front side looks like it is Homosexual literature...but here is what they say on the back:

Homosexuality has been under attack for some time now. Since the 1990s, when same sex marriage became an issue, the media ridiculed and publicized it in such a way, they forced us to take sides. As this caused such a stir in society, an even more important issue was being overlooked because we allowed ourselves to be caught up in the here-and-now. The more important issue is, what happens in the “there-after?” And because the here-and-now is only temporary, the there-after is worth looking into. Listen to what the Bible says. “It is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment.” When you die, you will stand before God and be expected to give a detailed account of your life. On that day, how will you do? Here is a quick test. Have you ever told a lie (even once)? Have you ever stolen anything (the value is irrelevant)? Have you ever used God’s name in vain (this is called blasphemy)? If you have done these things, you have sinned against God and He sees you as a lying, blasphemous thief. On Judgment Day, you will be guilty of breaking His laws, the 10 Commandments, and end up in hell. But God doesn’t want that. The Bible says, “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Simply put, you broke the law and Christ died to pay your fine. Then He rose from the dead and defeated death. If you will repent (turn from your sin) and put your trust in Jesus Christ, He will forgive your sin, take your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh to desire the things of God and grant you the gift of everlasting life. Isn’t that amazing? So, repent today. God will never let you down. Then read your Bible every day and obey what you read. See John 3:16 and John 14:21. God bless you!

They take a few minutes to read and for the reader to realize it's a Gospel tract...so if you're not feeling really "brave" it gives you a little escape time. "Did you get one of these?"...keep walking...

I have been really "shut up" lately. You can pray for me. Not even for boldness so much as just doing what I should be FIRST and that is trusting God. With EVERYTHING, especially in opening my mouth and sharing His Truth with this world.

I had a few brief conversations, but didn't really get anywhere. It's so selfish the way I/we judge "success" on our level...on numbers, on what we think a "good" conversation should be. I have to remind myself more often...that His word NEVER returns void! My job, my duty, my loving outreach to anyone is simply to speak the Truth in love and not ever have a concern for the immediate "results".

I kept walking around and found Dany and Laura talking to a lady, I walked over just as they finished and I see Don RUNNING across the park toward us. He runs up to us and says "Do you have another copy of 'One Heartbeat Away'?" I said yes...gave him a copy and he took off RUNNING with it!

Dany and Laura kept walking...and I went a different direction too. I stopped to pray briefly a few times - eventually working my way back around to the fountain. Don was sitting in the same spot talking to some people. Just as I got there I saw Dany and Laura talking to another lady. I sat down and picked up part of the conversation...the lady they were talking to was quite drunk and slurring most of what she said...but Dany and Laura were giving her the Gospel.

Don finished up the conversation he was having...came over and his eyes teared up as he started to share with me. He said he sat down...thinking this is a good "safe" place. Before he knew it, 2 hours had passed by and he had proclaimed the Gospel to a whole bunch of people. The first guy had been a "believer/christian" but had fallen away and really questioned just about anything in the Bible anymore. Don walked through some great proofs with him and that's when Don came running to find us to get a copy of "One Heartbeat Away" for the guy.

Don said the guy seemed kind of "dead" to what he was saying at first...but really opened up when Don seemed to really CARE and wasn't pushing a bunch of religious junk down his throat.

I walked back over toward the Catholic protester guy...and sat down next to some teen/pre-teen girls. They were really working hard to make fun of the guy, they were seeking "something" and the gay lifestyle had them locked in. The conversation really didn't go very far...

We all hooked up again after a total of a little over two hours. I talked to a guy from Jamaica (Don had talked to him earlier) and gave him a copy of "One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven" as well. He was a "Christian" and had stopped by the park on the way back from church. He had so many of the "right" answers, he had talked to Don about not being lukewarm and taking his faith very seriously........yet there he was sitting on a bench as 1,000's of people walked by.....and him not taking his "faith" seriously enough to TALK to them about the only Truth that will matter in 100 years.

All four of us started sharing from the few hours we were there. Dany ran into a girl she had talked to last year and Pueblo Pride. She remembered Dany, gave her a huge hug - they talked some more again and exchanged contact info. She told my wife "This is really good, I won't try to jump your bones...this will be a good spiritual relationship." Dany asked her if she'll be at Pueblo Pride..."Yes...and you?" "Yes"...she then told my wife she looks forward to seeing her and talking to here there.

Is God amazing or what?

"Lord God...bring US to, or bring to US the people you want US share the Gospel with! Remind us at that instant...we can trust you and you'll do amazing things when we open our mouths for you!"

"Evangelism" in the local paper

Laughable and heavy with disdain for "Christianity"...

Evangelism may be losing its sway in the Colorado Springs Gazette

Who is this author? I'm calling the paper to see if I can buy him lunch, I'd love to have a loving conversation with him. It is just vividly apparent that the author doesn't have a clue what it means for us to be a "follower of Christ" and not to be a "religious christian hypocrite". As is the case with so many in the media and the culture...they've never heard the true Gospel from the mouth of a caring, concerned, passionate believer that's not pitching a political agenda or trying to entice someone to "go to church".

He doesn't even use the word "evangelism" properly...this really intrigues me.

"Historically, that's nothing new. Since the 1800s, evangelism as a political force has gone through peaks and valleys."

What did he just say? Evangelism is a political force?

And the article is fraught with near hysterical statements.

"The religious right staked its credibility on the Bush administration, which has proven to be morally bankrupt," Balmer said. "And now the movement is collapsing under its own weight."

"Two of the movement's most important figures, D. James Kennedy and Jerry Falwell, are dead."

Kennedy or Falwell? Our most important, singularly most important, only important "figure" is very much alive and well Praise God!

Any of you "religious right" evangelism political force people (har har)...if you have the time read the article, comment on-line and pray that God opens a door to conversation with the author.

I noticed there are 33 pages of comments...sadly its mostly mud slinging between non-believers and so-called "christians". Way to represent there folks.